Hi! It's been a long time.. hopefully I'm inspired enough to make this interesting and not just a list of things that have been happening in my life lately..
I quit Insanity for now, I figured I was more lazy than insane and I was doing a bunch of exercise and dealing with a bunch of other things to feel bad about it. In the about 10/15 days I did it I gotta say my abs got way more flat and better in general. I might start it over, if i have the energy..
I performed.. here's the video of that:
oh jeez awfull snapshot!
That show turned out quite well, We got booked to do another one, plus a birthday party show, plus we're gonna do our own remake of the Flashdance movie. I could not be more excited about this since Flashdance is one of my favorite dance movies :) . I got assigned all 4 of the subjects I signed for at university so I'm gonna be dancing a lot plus practicing for Flashdance and maybe occasionally doing insanity since we wanna have killer bodies for that show..
I made my first appearance in a magazine, pretty excited about that also :)
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| I'm the one with the umbrella |
Everything dance-wise seems to be lining up, I even fear saying that out loud in case things start going to shit again, it seems as if I'm finally getting good things on this area of my life.
I haven't been intimate with anybody for quite a while now. I know I shouldn't complain since people go without that for way longer than me and everything else is going well.. Still my mind is starting to drive me crazy over this matter. I have decided a while ago that I don't want to sleep around anymore, it leaves me with a feeling of emptyness that I didn't got before but once I started getting it, it never went away and It makes it all less enjoyable, I actually end up feeling worse than I was before. Since I have decided to not sleep around anymore, I have failed to resist the temptation a couple times, both to find myself with this emptyness feeling which reassured me my original decision was the right one.
And yes, I know women don't usually talk like this, as women have a harder time to de-associate love from lust and all of that.. I guess I'm weird like that. Thanks Joey!
In my over analyzing, over thinking, over calculating, over worrying, over wondering and just driving myself nuts.. I found this blog: http://fortydaysofdating.com
It's a story of a girl and a guy that are best friends and after being tired and exhausted of seeing their relationships fail, they experiment seeing each other on a Date type of thing, every day for 40 days. It's pretty interesting.. And since I have a best friend, with whom I lived for 2 years, we share our frustrations on the love life and everything else.. It hits a nerve, as at some point in our friendship we both have wondered how come nothing ever happened between us, I guess there's just no chemistry, or if there is we have blocked it long enough to make it dissapear. Of course my over analyzing mind made me eat that blog up in 2 days and heavily wonder if i have more feelings for my best friend, appart from friendship, obviously.
To be honest, I don't think i do, i think i'm just hunger for love and hugs and cuddles and feeling loved in general. So i see things where there is nothing, I need to calm down and stop freaking myself out. It's like what I said to a friend the other day "I feel like I'm a hungry person in the middle of the dessert, I see someone walk by and I see a roasted chicken instead of a person.. because I'm so hungry" Oh well, this too shall pass.
We can't have it all, I have my dancing on full mode on rightnow, expecting my love life to be fixed rightnow would be asking too much.
Anyways, these are the news.. I'll be back sooner rather than later, I promise. In the meantime here's a good quote I found:
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