March 24, 2015

They existed. And they were fighters.

Today, the few readers I have, will have to make an extra effort and read this
(either in spanish or translated somehow)- Either way I will be talking about it in this entry.

For the few that know me well enough to remember, every march 24th is a date of thinking and instrospection and tons of other things for me. Ever since I have a conscious. Today marks 39 years since the day that the goverment was taken over the military forces. 
Calling themselves "Process of National Reorganization" taking over the president and everybody in our goverment. Forcing people to follow their orders or suffer the consequences. And even then, chase, kidnap, "dissapear", torture and kill people who they considered thought differently, show any sign of rebellion or simply was in an environment of self thinking (like arts, literature or philosophy universities, for example). 
Anyone that thought differently was under the loop to be gone, anyone who read and had a "2 fingers front" as we say, not an empty brain. I believe the historical facts are important on this, essencial to create the conscious of a country. I'm not gonna try to re-tell everything that happened because it would make an even longer post entry and I'm sure you can all find more informed versions online - For the ones that have no idea what happened you can start for good old wikipedia on it (since it's already in english) and go from there if you like. Wikipedia info on 1976 Argentine Coup d'etat

I can only talk from personal experience, the conscius of what happened from 1976 to 1983 in our country touches me closely. Knowing my aunt was an artist, that "dissapeared" one day because she was dating another artist that was in the students board at the Arts University in my hometown. Knowing my mom didn't "Dissapear" with her just by chance, because the uniformed person didn't feel like it that day. Even though they did feel like chasing her and my entire family from months on just to see if they were subversive or doing anything that was against the norms they imposed on people. From being chased to having to burn possible "subversive" books and LPs. To not know where my aunt was, what they were doing to her, if she was still alive, if they could save her or if they would be taking down with her on their attempts to do so. 

Horror. Is the only word that comes to my mind to describe this. I know people from other continents look at it as if it's not such a big deal, I know, most latin american countries had it (and I don't believe that's a coincidence but that's another discussion). In fact it wasn't our first one. But it was by far our worst one.

39 years went by. 39. My family would never be complete. My mom never gave up looking for her sister, it took her at least 15 years since democracy was installed again to know she was dead. And then it began the search for her remainings. The search for people that might have been inprisoned with her. To relieve the ache, for someone to tell her she left this world quickly, hopefully without too much pain. Families torn appart, babies born in cells and given to powerfull families, grandparents still looking for the childrens of their "Dissapeared" parents.

My family was lucky and resourcefull enough to find information enough to trial some of the people involved in my aunt's dissapearance and dead. Eventhough most of the militaries in charge were so old by the time of the trials most of them died of eldery or were "confined" to be prisoners of their own comforting, deluxe homes. Granting them the time alive that so many didn't have the chance to have because they personally took their lives away. It was only 5 years ago that they were able to find the bones of my aunt. And thanks to U.S technology compare it to my mom's and grandma's dna and determine it was her. Give her a proper funeral. She became the most beautiful Jazmine tree, in a garden of trees planted in memory of all of those who suffered the same end as she did.

Only yesterday there was a ceremony where all the relatives were given the folder of files belonging to the cause, trial and everything related to their relatives death and in some cases their own, since there were some people that after tortured were able to survive and escape this hell. Though I dunno how much your mind can escape such memories. Now this book is in the family, since the case is closed. As a reminder for the family of everything my aunt went through, and everything my family went through in search for the truth. (And that's what the link in the beginning refers to). I hope it gives my mom, grandma, and uncles more closure on the matter. Even though I believe (as I said earlier) my family would never be whole since a member was taken away like this.

Today it's been 39 years of this calamity. The situation in our country isn't the best, it's not the safest place on earth, the economy is shit (hasn't it always been?), and specially women have a hard time walking free on the streets because all of the crimes that happen everyday, from robbery, to killings or kidnaps with prostitution purposes. Still, we are in a democracy. The people that's in the goverment is the people the majority of the population voted. We can think differently and expose it anyway we like, I know it's a mere right and we shouldn't be as excited for it as we are. And I know our goverment is shit (I personally didn't vote for  it) but at least there's the hope that people will chose wiser next time, keep rebelling against the things they don't like and don't be fooled (this is my own wishful thinking) by the candy they give to cover up the issues they should be taking care of. 

I know i'm ranting at this point but I just have way too much on my mind. I wish people understood and wouldn't take history so lightly.  Along with many people thinking like me, I also get (thanks to social media) tons of people thinking "if they dissapeared it was for a reason", "we were better with the military, they wiped out the crime", "they were heroes trying to clean up the mess of a country with a weak goverment". It sickens me greatly to think there's a new generation of people either raised by parents with these lack of morals or just unaware and unwilling to learn what happened. That someone can think this way. It freaks me out to think if they ever become a number then maybe this hell could happen again. That's why I keep thinking about it, why we keep expressing everything that happened and trying to create as much awareness as possible to prevent this.

The thought that I could easily be my aunt. Because I have a free speech, I've been sumerged (proudly) in the arts world ever since I was 12, I have a brain of my own. As my mom told me yesterday, you can't have ideas put on your brain if your brain isn't empty to begin with. My brain is far from empty, I just hope generations to come fill it in with the history of our country and not the lies people with power sell for their own benefit.
Once again, books, education, means of expression, can be our strongest weapon.

And I'm gonna end this entry with a translation of what's on my facebook page, for those that don't speak spanish and want to know what it says.

"I believe that it's important to remember this date, and not just live it like an extra day off work. It's not a matter of living in the past, it's a matter of remembering our history. I wish more people did this.. maybe one day we'll learn that our history isn't there just because. That it's essential to learn from it, so we don't commit the same atrocities. I'm utopic, I know. I'm not trying to create a debate, I'm just sharing something that consequently comes to my mind.
Respect for the ones that are gone.
Memory and learning, so we don't get brainwashed.
Hope, that someday there would be someone decent to vote in our country.
I will remain being utopic."

Know the past,for only then you can change the future.


March 23, 2015

Music adventures

And I woke up having no plans at all, not even my phone charged, with only one possible thing I wanted to get done... finishing watching "Glee". Yeap. We're talking big achievements here people... inmense ones ...
After tossing around in bed for a long time and being reminded of my lazyness by friends equally Lazy.. I woke up to eat something and then received the txt to brighten my day...  A free Lolapalooza ticket from a friend :). So, Lazy no more.. I got moving.. the day was beautiful, sunny, clear sky.. kinda autumny temperature.. I got to visit one of the neibourhoods I love, off to the show.. got to the see the sun set as we walked to the stadium.
A lot of people, a lot of stages... fun.
We chose the bands we wanted to see and opened our mind as much as possible.
Enjoyed a really good show by Kasabian, then went to another stage and watch a bit of Damian Marley perform and half of the "Smashing Pumpkins" show..
Then it came the turn of the now famouse happy adidas face.. "Pharrell Williams". We wondered how he would have material for an hour and a half show.. given he's not that old of an artist... but... the N.E.R.D times were fun so... who knew?
He barely made it to the time, stretching time in between songs way too much, having a couple numbers being only his back up dancers dance to other artists music.. and doing some covers (Holla back girl, Lucky..) and at times singing the same song twice in a row.. (Lucky and Happy at the very end). Didn't expect much, didn't receive much. I wouldn't have paid for it. Hopefully he gets some experience, release some more cds and come back to reinvindicate himself from this one.
And for the end... completely different music, had the crowd (me included) jumping around, dancing, shaking their head at the 2nd note. It was "Skrillex" time... and he did what he knows how to do best. Bring the f house down! Played all his most famous tunes and turned the show into a party, a club outdoors. Fun.
And so it ended, temperature dropped and we were sweaty and unnoticing with all the dancing so I'm sure B.A has a massive cold rightnow. All in all it was worth it.
Reporting from my bed/couch zipping hot tea while watching Gotham.
That's all for today's blog. Keep enjoying life!

March 18, 2015

Lazyness extreme

Got to one of the laziest moments on your life: When you download a crappy phone app to blog...
Its ridiculous I know... but oh well..
Today was a really long day, its funny how hard it can be to NOT think... sometimes I think its a hrrat advantage to be able not to sometimes...

February 01, 2015

Insomnia is never a one hit wonder

Here we are again... God knows how long after... (Sorry, i'm not about to count how long it's been or how sorry i am for not writing anything in over whatever long)..

Seems like nothing have changed around here (blog configuration wise), it's 3.15 am so this picture suits the moment extremely well.. Well what you gonna do when you have insomnia? Tried watching a boring movie = nothing.
Tried laying in bed and closing my eyes and yawning (which i'm still doing) still can't fall asleep.. ¬¬

So i thought to myself, i might aswell just write something. It's been a while, and i used to like writing. In fact whenever i can find an excuse for it at school I expect to be remarkable at it (modest much? ha) 

I have insomnia and i start work again in some hours... of course having a ton of time off messed with my sleep, understandable, I'll be a zombie tomorrow and go to bed at 10 like a boring old person. Problem solved.

 I'm playing slow jazz music, see if that makes me sleepy (fingers crossed).

I feel like this year is gonna be a big one. Many things going on, many changes I want to make in my life, and you know, once i put my mind into something.. well..I'm a very stubborn person. We'll see what comes out of it.

I can't stop thinking about the countdown to wake up! God it's torture! I can't even type anything interesting cuz all that comes to my mind is how much i should be sleeping rightnow and how much every second i spend rambling is a second less of sleep but hey! "There is no rest for the wicked!" said some sort of one hit wonder band ..(or maybe not, i just lost track on the band really, it's Cage the elephant. - if anyone knows of any good material of them appart from that CD, well let me know.. though nobody reads this pretty much. And it's a relief, cuz i rather type than handwrite.

Anyways people, i think i'm gonna keep this music on and try that thing called sleep.. wait for more news, since i plan to go back to basics. So  I should be popping around here sometime (during this year hopefully hahaha)... It's time to go back to being me fully. I'm still me, just you know, some things are lacking, but i'll fix that (well except for the love life, that'll have to work itself out cuz im done trying and obsessing about it all when it comes to that -pff at least for the next couple of months, give me a break ok? )

Sorry for such nonsensical (yeap i just googled the spelling on that ¬¬) post..

Don't let the mosquitos bite the life out you!


November 17, 2013

Small talk from my phone

Yes... i'm aware i have failed at a fitness blog.. simply because there are not enough hours in a day to do all the things i wanna do.. life.

Life has been pretry good to me lately... im still broke, but used to it by now. Lost most the weight i wanted to lose...
Finally got tons of dancing in, and met someone i'm really into.

I shall start insanity again once summer hreak hits (jusr reminding myself)